Crip Merak and the Wizarding World of Hocus Pocus
by ToSmithereens
Summary: This is a one shot from my story Rod Lifferjingle, that includes my character Crip Merak who is a reaper of the Orange Terran army. He has crash landed his ship outside the Hogwarts school and this is his reaction. (May be turned into a longer story with chapters.)


Crip Merak and the Wizarding World of Hocus Pocus

Darkness flooded in and out as a sharp pain in my head throbbed. What was going on? Where was I? Voices echoed from a distance. What were they saying? I moved my head to the side attempting to wake up. I felt my eyes flutter open. A bright light forced my eyelids closed. Regaining some of my senses, I waved my hand in front of my face. The light seemed to be coming from red flames. I let out a groan, attempting to sit up.

"Hey he's getting up!" A voice called out. I heard steps shuffling toward me. A hand rested on my shoulder.

"Is he okay?" A female voice asked a little further out. I distinguished her accent as British.

"Hey don't try to get up. You need to rest," the concerned male said. By what it sounded like, he was young adult, age eighteen or nineteen.

"Ugh… get off me… I'm fine," I groaned, falling on my back.

"Hermione! Go get Madame Pomfrey!" The guy said, letting go of my shoulder. "You're going to be alright sir."

The kid continued talking, but within a couple minutes his voice faded out and everything went black.

What seemed like minutes later, I woke up in bed, covered by a white sheet.

"Ugh… where am…" I started, but got interrupted.

"Oh! You're awake," a lady said, rushing to my aid. "Look at me!"

The women began waving a stick around and saying gibberish. "Here drink this it'll help with the pain."

"Uhhh, get out of my face," I moaned shoving the glass away. "I'm fine."

I tried to get off the bed, but a sheering pain shot through my leg. I let out a ferocious yell.

"AAAAGH!" I grabbed hold of my thigh. "Why the heck haven't you healed my leg yet?!"

"Well, what do you expect? You can't heal overnight." The nurse said, putting her hands on her hips.

I gave her a confused look. "What are you talking about? Of course you can heal over night! In fact I'd much appreciate it if you'd hurry up and fix my leg right _now!_ "

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, shoving the glass back into my arms. "Now drink this."

I grumbled to myself, yanking it from her hands. In one quick swallow I downed the entire thing. "Okay there, happy? Now grab your fixer upper thing and zap me back together." I said, irritably. She sighed.

"What fixer upper thing."

"Oh my hel— ugh, I can't remember what it's called?!" I shouted, throwing my arms around.

"Well it's no use throwing a tantrum," she said, folding her arms.

"Okay I'm warning you," I said, pointing my finger at her.

"Warning her about what?" I heard a voice call out from my right. I turned my body to face its owner. An older lady stood wearing a long light green dress. She had her hair up in a bun and had round glasses on her nose.

"Oh Professor McGonagall, I'd thought you'd never come," the nurse said, rushing over to her side. "This man is insane. I think he hit his head too hard on his way down."

"Down from what?" I asked, questions now popping up left and right. "Oh and since we're on the subject, where the heck am I? And why in the piss of all mighty Blerk, haven't I been healed yet. There's things to do, people to kill. I can't waist all my time sitting down in a hospital bed!"

"Oh my," the professor said, looking very concerned. "I think you are absolutely right Poppy. He does seem quite crazy."

"Oh kill me now," I said, rubbing my hands on my temples. "Well, could you at least get me my transmitter."

They gave me a blank look.

"Or some form of communication?" I asked, watching them look at each other. "I just need to speak with my Commander!"

I was losing patience very quickly, but unfortunately with my leg stinging like a horse, I couldn't do anything about it. The two old ladies spoke in hushed whisper. It was as if they were plotting against me. While the two squabbled to each other I tried to recall what had happened to me. _Okay think Crip. What happened? Where was I?_ After a couple minutes, images came popping up in my head. _Yes that's right, I was transporting… something. Some artifact for Plank._

"Um excuse me sir," the nurse said, standing to my side. I gave her an annoyed look.

"What?" I said, shaking my head.

"We believe that in your accident, you may have hit your head—"

"Wait what did you say?" I asked, cutting her off.

"Well I never got to finish you—"

"You said accident!" I said, grabbing her and pulling her closer. "I was in an accident!"

"Sir I will ask you only once! Let go of Madame Pomfrey!" McGonagall said, pulling out a stick of her own. I ignored her and continued questioning the nurse.

"Look I don't care who you are, or what you think is wrong with me. I need you to hall your fat butt back to the crash site and dig out my suit. It has my transmitter on it and everything." But before she could respond I was hit by some strong force, knocking me back into my bed.

"Poppy are you okay?" the Professor said, helping the woman off the ground. I sat dazed, shaking my head. _Ugh what was that?_

Looking up I saw Pomfrey reassuring the Professor that she was okay.

"Yes yes, I can assure you that I am fine," the nurse said, brushing off her dress.

"Hey nit wits! I'm still here," I growled.

"Yes we know you are, but until we decide what to do with you, you are going to stay there," Professor McGonagall, walked away, putting her stick back in her pocket.

"Hey now wait a second lady! I need my suit! I need to get out of here!" she ignored me and continued out the door. "Hey! Oi! You leave me here and you'll regret it! I'll have the entire Orange Terran on your tail, you hear me! We'll hang you up like on ornament on a Christmas tree! Don't think that this is over! All you're doing is delaying your destruction!"

Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. Time went on and on. I sat in my misery, anger flooding my mind. I could do nothing. I was helpless.

Looking around the room I tried to find something to use. They had to have some sort of alcohol or something. Anything that I could pore on my wound to numb the pain. That way I could get up and high tale it out of here. I just had to get to the crash site.

A container rested on the table next to me. _Aw there we go. That's gotta be some kind of treatment._ I scooted across the bed, pain cutting through my leg. I bit my lip and kept going. _I'd been through worse. This is nothing._ I kept telling myself.

Reaching over, I grabbed the bottle. Suddenly, I heard a door open from across the room. I quickly hid the liquid under my sheets and laid back on the bed. A pretty red haired girl entered the room. She made her way over to me. I looked away and completely ignored her.

"Hey," she said, standing next to my bed. "I'm Hermione… I was there when you crashed."

I huffed. "Hmm, well ain't that just fine and dandy. So I have you to blame for sticking me in this prison," I said, rolling my head to face her.

"This isn't a prison, it's a hospital if you haven't noticed," Hermione said, taken aback.

I huffed again. "Pfft, call it what you will. Now are you here to help me or are you going to be as useless as those other two old hags."

The girl gave an offended look. "Those two ladies _aren't_ old hags! And by what they said you weren't exactly the easiest to work with."

"Eh whatever, If you aren't going to help then get out. I am conducting a plan to escape," I said, breaking our gaze.

"There isn't any need for you to escape. Like I said, this is a hospital. You're here to get better," Hermione said, getting something from under the bed. "And plus where are you going to go. There isn't another city for miles."

"Where am I going to go? Oh well why don't I give you my entire plan than why don't I," I said, but before she could respond I went on. "Well to start off. I'm going to find something in this room to numb my leg, then I'm going to exit this building and head to the crash site. Once there I'm going to retrieve my suit and a package of healing scanners. After fixing myself up, I'll contact my squad and have them come and get me. And if all goes well, I'll send you guys a package of "Up Yours" and blow this place to smithereens."

"Blow this place to smithereens? And you want my help?" Hermione said, placing the object she got out from under the bed, in my lap.

"Well if you were to help me, we could probably rearrange a couple thigns," I said, glancing down at the container she gave me. "What's this?"

"It's just pumpkin juice," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Hmph," I said, swallowing the liquid. "Well not bad. I've had better but… not bad at all."

"So about this plan of yours?" Hermione said, sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"Yeah what about it?" I asked, drinking the last of the pumpkin juice.

"I have no problem helping you but…" Hermione said.

"But what?"

"You see, my friend Neval was caught in the explosion and he's hurting really bad too." Hermione said, pausing. "You said you had some sort of… ehhh, what was the phrase… healing scanners?"

"Oh haha," I laughed, relaxing my shoulders. "You want me to heal your friend."

"Uh… yeah," the girl said, like it was obvious. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Oh no, I just thought you were going to ask for something worth value," I responded, downing the rest of the pumpkin juice.

"Hey, Neval _is_ worth something," she responded, defensively.

"Yeah sure, to an extent," I replied, stretching my arms. "Okay so are we going to do this or what?"

"I don't know, are you going to help my friend?" she asked folding her arms.

"Well yeah, I already said I would," I responded, throwing her the empty bottle. "So get to it then. I have places to be, people to kill."

Hermione jumped back, surprised.

"Well you don't have to be rude about it," she stood up and looked to exit the hall, but she hesitated and turned back around. "Eh… where exactly are the med kits?"

"They should be in a big metal box near the cockpit. Now if the crash was head on, everything's going to have been chucked to the back and the front ain't gonna be very intact," I said, motioning with my hands. She turned to leave, but I called out. "Oh and one more thing. The entire ship isn't going to be very stable. We're dealing with all kinds of chemicals escaping from the engine. Most of it is already blown up, but there is all kinds of air pockets where gasses can rest."

"Uh so what exactly are you telling me?" Hermione said, looking a bit more scared.

"Just… watch where you step," I said, resting my head on the pillows. "Now get a move on! I gotta piss."

She sighed and ran out the door.

I had been sitting in the same spot for nearly forty five minutes now and was beginning to assume they had been crushed under the ship. I mean, how hard could it actually be? My squad would have me in my feet in seconds. A couple moments later, Hermione came bashing through the door, empty handed. Anger began rising in my throat. But before I could say anything, a couple other boys followed her in, levitating a large metal case in the air.

"Well it's about time," I said impatiently. "Now hurry up and bring it over here."

"Holy cow mate, relax we just got here," the red haired male said.

"Does it look like I care?" I said, clenching my fists. "Do you want your friend healed or not?"

The two boys looked at each other and then brought the med kit to my side. I reached over and opened the console. Tapping in a few buttons, the case opened. I grabbed one of the medical devices within, and shot the green beam onto my leg. Within seconds, all the muscle and tissue pulled back together and I was free of pain.

I let out a sigh and got off of the bed.

"Now that's much better," I said, stretching my calf. I looked toward the three young adults as they starred in awe. "Alright, now I have to get back to my ship, and locate my transmitter."

"Wait a sec, you said you would help Neville," Hermione said, jumping in front of me.

"Pfft, you've got arms. Do it yourself," I said, motioning toward the box. I walked out of the hospital room, to see a corridor going left, and a corridor going right. I had no idea where I was. _Uhhhhh…_

I walked back into the hospital wing, and stood awkwardly by the door as they gathered at the very end of the room. _Huh, I didn't even realize there was someone down there._ I noticed them turning the device over in their hands, trying to figure it out. I rolled my eyes and made my way down to them. I cleared my throat, getting their attention. I put my hand, gesturing toward myself.

"Give to me," I said, bluntly. Hermione sighed, and did as she was told. I aimed the device at the stranger lying on the bed. With a push of a button, a green beam extruded from the object and healed the adolescent.

"There ya go, now I would really appreciate if you would take me to my ship," I said, throwing the medic scanner onto the bed closest to me.


End file.
